i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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