Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
