I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
