You just made me feel so damn special
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
