After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
