Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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