guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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