that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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