in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
