3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
