I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
