my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
