Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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