FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
