NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
