it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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