he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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