carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
