that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
