So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Hippo gnu deer
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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