You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
