I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
