I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
