I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
