I think i peed on brittanys purse
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
