you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We left the knife in your bed.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
