hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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