Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
