my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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