I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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