coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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