high people should be assigned attendants
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
