And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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