so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
