ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
