The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
