I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize
