But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
