I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
