The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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