you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
