just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We left an ass print on the piano.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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