how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
