i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
he just fucked me for my cheese..
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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