"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Who died my cat blue again?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
