He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
