I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
