I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'm always down for nudity.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
