If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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