I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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