My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
