porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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