I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just found a bag of teeth...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
