yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
