i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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