Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
