my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
