I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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