so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
