What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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