Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
my vag is so smooth its legendary
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I got her a Nickelback box set.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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